INDIANAPOLIS — Colts veteran offensive tackle missed the last five games of the previous season due to a personal issue. He is now sharing the details of just how severe the situation was.
In an interview with the Indianapolis Star published Tuesday, He revealed that he has a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which led him to spend 48 days in a treatment facility. He eventually turned to a psychedelic drug that he believes played a significant role in his recovery. Smith admitted that he was in such emotional turmoil that he contemplated suicide.
“I was physically present, but I was nowhere to be found,” Smith told the newspaper. “I didn’t care about playing football, or spending time with my family, my wife, or my newborn son. I was a month away from taking my own life.”Smith, 29, explained that he was diagnosed with religious scrupulosity, a condition distinct from regular religious practice, as it involves anxiety about potentially offending God or committing blasphemy. This leads to obsessive actions like excessive praying or repeated acts of repentance, which can overwhelm a person’s daily life.
“There was only one person that was ever perfect, and that was Jesus,” Smith said. “When you try to live up to that standard, it drives you crazy.”
At the start of last season, Smith confided in his wife, Courtney, about his struggles and his intention to retire if his condition didn’t improve. By November, Smith checked into a mental health facility in Colorado, but after several weeks, he saw only limited progress.
He then sought treatment with ibogaine, a psychedelic drug that is not legal in the U.S. but has shown potential in treating mental health issues in scientific research. Smith traveled to Mexico to undergo the treatment.
After the therapy and continued counseling, Smith reported being in a much better mental state.
“I wasn’t here last year. I was physically here, but I wasn’t. I want to be myself again and for the people around me to experience that, because I feel like I have something to offer,” Smith said.
Smith no longer experiences compulsive behaviors, such as praying excessively or trying to replace negative thoughts with good ones. He said, “If I have a bad thought, it’s just one of many, and I move on. I used to spend 3 to 5 hours a day in my head, doing compulsions. It was exhausting.”
The Colts are supportive of Smith’s progress. “Braden Smith is back and in a great place,” general manager Chris Ballard said. “People forget how good Braden is.”
Due to his high salary cap hit of $19.75 million for 2025 and his knee issues, the Colts asked Smith to restructure his contract. He agreed to return for a reduced $8 million salary, lowering his cap figure to $10.4 million.
Smith explained that he agreed to the terms because he feels he has unfinished business in Indianapolis.
“I wasn’t here last year,” he said. “I was physically here, but I wasn’t. I want to be myself again, and I want the people around me to experience that, because I feel like I have something to offer.”